08. Anatomy of a BDSM Scene

BDSM play is all about boundaries. If you don’t know how to, or aren’t willing to set boundaries, it is a recipe for disaster.
 Emily Anne
Updated: December 20, 2019

Anatomy of a BDSM Scene

In this video we're going to go over the anatomy of a BDSM scene so first of all what is a scene a scene or session as it's sometimes called or sometimes it's just called play like btsm play means BDSM activity or encounter involving one or more people that may or may not involve sexual activity so when we think about playing in the PDS I'm setting it could be you might automatically think of a dungeon but most of the time if you don't have access to a dungeon or a special playroom athene could take place in a private home like a living room bedroom tell room or sometimes in public at a club there are specific stages for a scene and they differ for each type of scene so it's not always going to be the same but in general we're going to cover the three main stages of housing happens and it's pretty obvious it's before the scene during the scene and after the scene so before the scene this is where you're really going to do you're communicating get your form consent and do your preparation so we have a video on negotiating a scene so you want to take a look at that butt when is when you set up the dynamic between the group or the two people that are participating in the scene you want to establish the relationship it could be simply top and bottom it could be Dom sub and you want to communicate about what your needs and wants are and negotiate what is allowed in the scene and what is not allowed in the scene you want to talk about hard limit this is the time to you know I think people look the importance of building up to a scene and a lot of times at Dom's of dynamic can be really important in the instruction phase so this is really the Dupree scene instruction phase were a dominant my submissive some text instructions to do prior to the scene like like what they're going to wear just as far as being clean and hydrated rested in a good emotional state and to really check in with their feelings prior to the same so you can kind of get Center and know what's going on in your body before the scene for whoever is the top of the dominant should have everything ready to go so that the flow of your seeing isn't disrupted you want to have your implements ready or toys or after care Essentials which could be a water row blanket ice packs if there's bruising and food and any safety items you need such as condoms something like that are you want to have ready to go so really this is the prep before the scene is really important and it sets you up for success during the scene this is pretty obvious the scene consists of the activities of the play that you're going to do and there's different types of play that you can agree to do in the scene and they can you include physical activity including impact play sensation play any kind of physical activity a can or include sexual activity if that's what you've negotiated sometimes there's no sexual activity there's no genital touching and nothing like that it could simply be like impact play psychological play mental play if that's the same thing as psychological play it's basically the type of activity that might occur that are intended to have a psychological impact and then Edge play is referred to sometimes deals with some edging as far as like orgasms it refers to it can refer to activities that could engender fear like fear of impact gets a little bit into it as carrier component there for the bottom of submissive but that all has to be negotiated two-headed ahead of time so this is really where you're going to participate in the activities that you negotiated and can send it to the dominant may actually indicate to their sub everything that will happen to have time or might just leave it to surprise except for having. Consent and hard limits set so that those are not pushed now during the scene you I'm going to go back up to the top here you want to start with a warm-up usually if you have your submissive you want to make sure that you are download Technic especially if this is a new play partner situation and you don't know how they're going to take some of the play that's involved you want to start low and slow low meaning like low impact low psychological impact low physical impact and then slow just means like just ease into it so that's sort of the warm-up that can happen especially at the beginning of a scene and also it's not listed here but just realized that you might have have some delay in the middle of the scene that's fine this is where you want to use the safe words and save signals and just know that stops are okay you know you there is a flow to a scene but the safe word and communication is very important and if the safe word is used and I'll play stops there's a chance for you to collect yourself renegotiate with whether or not the emotional state of your bottom or submissive is good to go for the rest of the scene and then continue the scene it have little blips and mistakes will happen or little awkward things can happen but that's okay you just kind of pick up and keep going okay then it's really important after the scene as we talked about another video there's Aftercare which means the submissive or bottom would need some care for their mental and physical state and that's usually we were the dominant wants to pay attention to the submissives needs and build them back up again and make sure that they come to a normal, emotional state and once everyone is in a normal normal, emotional state at that's when you want to do some debriefing ecology briefing a chance for you to to communicate about what you liked what you didn't like what might not have gone the way we wanted it to and a scene and it's truth with tax but not hold back the a good way to communicate about how the cement is to ask what did you like best and what did you like not so much and then what things might not want to be cut out of any future session with things do you want to do more of and it's really a turn to also celebrate and reminisce and you just you can prolong the effects of the scene by just taking a moment to pause and talk about it and celebrate of the high points of the scene time to deal with subspace event occurs and it's aftermath sometimes do all of this after the scene debriefing is helps you set up the next scene so this is where you can do another negotiation and talk about what fun things are going to do next time 

This is for the truly kinky

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