02. Basic Principles - Techniques & Etiquette

The main elements of BDSM, an overview
 Emily Anne
Updated: January 7, 2020

Basic Principles - Techniques & Etiquette

In this lesson, I'll be going over some key points you need to know as you're getting into BDSM. I'm presuming you're a newbie to BDSM or need to brush up on some principles.

Key elements for successful BDSM play

Listening and Communication

It's important that you listen to your partner and take them in. And in turn, communicate your own needs, wants, and boundaries.


As you're playing, you want to have a sense of what's happening to you and your body.

For example, if impact play is getting to be too much for you, you want to have a sense of, "Okay, this isn't working for me" and communicate that.

Open Mind

You don't have to like everyone's kinks or activities in BDSM, but it's very important to:

  • Have an open mind
  • Accept other people
  • Don't judge them for their kinks
  • Let them be themselves

Concern for Safety

Safety is a big deal in the BDSM community.

You can't really have fun, free-flowing play if you don't have safeguards and follow rules of safety. So someone who has a lax attitude towards safety not only brings play down, but it can also be dangerous.

Honesty and Integrity

Super important. BDSM is not an area where you want to manipulate people, fudge the truth, lie, or do things that could harm your partner.

It's already a vulnerable place to be in, especially for a submissive/bottom; you're literally putting yourself in the hands and control of someone else.

You need to be working/playing with someone you can trust.

This is for the truly kinky

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