03. Bondage Basics

"B" is for Bondage
Emily Anne 
Updated: December 20, 2019

Bondage Basics

In this video we're going to go over bondage basics so bondage is the b in BDSM what is it bondage in terms of the BDSM subculture is the practice of consensually tying binding or restraining a partner often for erotic or aesthetic or sensor sensory stimulation so your partner can be physically restrained in a variety of ways including rope bondage tape or other types of bondage implements bondage so okay bondage itself necessarily implies sado-masochism it can be used as an end in itself as in the case of rope bondage or even breaths bondage when get into that later but it can also be used as part of sex or in conjunction with other BDSM activities including the Dom sub dynamic quality Inn erotic are often important aspects of bondage but they're not always that in and of itself as FedEx also plays an important role in bondage and we'll get into that more later there's just a whole panoply of ways that bondage is used in BDSM requires trust patients an openness to experience it can really enhance a connection between the partners that can be with or without a Dom sub Dynamic will get into the top top top bottom dynamic in a minute this can be a small or large part of the scene or your Kink it's a chance to play bondage for many different reasons so they might want to do it to please their partner they might do it to like the feeling of being out of control or maybe being used and I can Central Manor about allowing another person to be in control of your pleasure delayed gratification involved in bonded bondage leg edging is important it can create a powerful orgasm that way and again bondage can involve anything from handcuffs blindfolds basic restrains to rope Skaggs sex furniture or even cages or other strengths of movement okay so I just wanted to get into the basic types of bondage play there is rope Shibari which is a Japanese form of rope bondage suspension which generally means you are suspended in air even either partially or fully hog-tie is a form of bondage or a it's actually more it can be done with rope or other implements but it's more of a position and there's predicament bondage which basically means you're going to have given a choice and you might be told to it can be used for suspense and also to allow your partner to give you a choice between two bad options and you if you can't get out of one you might get tortured or might be part of your punishment in the BDSM Dynamic there's all sorts of ways to do that and then I just put your a basic restraint because in general terms sometimes people just want a little bit of restraint in their sexual play and we'll get into that more later okay basic terms the rigger is a gender-neutral term this is the top in a bondage scenario or seen this the ringer is a person who ties their consenting partner up with whatever implements are using whatever type of bondage so are weaker can be a top or they can also be a dominant and Adonis of relationship in the scene in terms of bondage power exchange the trigger is a person in charge so they're the one actually doing the activity of time or restraining and they're in charge of how that restraint is going to occur safety issues but definitely or want to talk about safe word or safe signal that indicates that is what the bottom or submissive indicates to stop play or indicate that they need some behavior modification on the behalf of the top usually that means stop and even untie unrestrained person show me to get on some basic tips bondage is a huge area and I just want to go over just the main ideas and you definitely want to get educated first at bondage required a certain amount of Education before you even jump in so I'm going to give the very Basics here but you also want to consider taking classes find some instruction maybe even find someone to Mentor you and go through the process you can find some instructional videos online and practice your your restraining ability especially if you're doing rope the first one to choose your type of restraint so let's say you have a scene coming up you want to decide if you are if you don't have the restraint at handy when I go purchase them there is a special kind of tape you can purchase that doesn't cause harm to the skin I would highly recommend doing that so if you want to go with some tape you want to make sure that it doesn't work with people like to do handcuffs but you have to make sure you get the right kind that can undo and that you were going to talk about this later but you definitely want to have the key on a rope velcro and there's many different kinds of kids that you can buy and I'll show you a picture in a minute but typically the first kind of starter kit is to get an under the bed restraint system for ankles and the rest you can dIY around the house kind of restraints including like a men's tie a professional tie you can use that to either blindfold or use as a restraint you can use silk scarfs whatever you have handy is so long as you really know what you're doing and pay attention just because it's you can restrain someone with it doesn't mean that you necessarily should and you should make sure that you are checking in with the bottom at all times and I will get into that more later you want to set up your restraints ahead of the session as much as possible and be prepared cuz it's kind of dropped stop the flow of a BDSM scene if you are having to fiddle with restraints in the middle it is sort of bring some of the tension down so you really want to see you no have that handy just kind of know where things are where you were strains are how are you going to use them may be kind of plan in your head when you might be using them and how you're using them and again you want to practice your skills I would recommend trying some of these on yourself a first doing himself ties doing using other objects you know you can even use a pillow different things that approximately eat a person connect with your own breathing when you're doing or strength so that you can keep your head about you and do it the right way and watch out for things indications from the bottom and the bottom especially needs to connect with Beth just like in Impact play you want to Pace your session sometimes like slowly time someone up in a seductive manner is a great way to use bondage and incorporating to seeing sometimes you can use it as a discipline it's a really good way to immobilize a submissive it can help them get into Moore's of the submissive State and it really indicates total power and control of the dominant or the top but especially in the dumps of dynamic kick in really give the submissive the feeling of helplessness at times and of course is all consensual and needs to be discussed ahead of time and everything else we can send it to ahead of time I can be used as punishment meaning you know you can use a bondage in addition to in conjunction with impact play so you can tie someone up or immobilize them first and then incorporate the punishment it can provide suspend so you can use on blindfolding and immobilization to create it and then there's different locations you can do bondage again on the bed you can untie someone to a wall or an overhang there's different kids you can get for that and again I like to use a massage table it's a great way to tie someone up in different areas using the different parts of a massage table okay I'm just want to get some basics in rope Vonage and restraint bondage so row of people really like the the look of rope a lot of times wrote bondage is about Aesthetics as well as other types of BDSM advantages this but you really really rope can like burn a person skin one avoid Roper and so this is an area where you really need to get instruction and requires a lot of practice before you start using in and then someone else again you I would recommend self tying a lot using road before going there and when you do roleplay you need to make sure you have surgical scissors or implements to Cut the Rope quickly because it can cause harm Suzanne area that's really really important to have an eye towards safety at all times and you don't want to go into Subs suspension bondage and which means you're suspending your bottom part part way until you really have a handle on what it is you're doing with rope suspension bondage and other areas might be easier to do with clips and velcro especially velcro because that's a quick release technique where is rope can be intricate and takes a long time to unravel again this can be used and discipline punishment also endurance especially with the suspension to see how long your submissive can't stand this is pension again this a lot of times rope gets into more of an aesthetic play like breast bondage can showcase the breast for a BDSM play such as impact play on the breast or just you know to take a pretty picture and enjoy this that I so mean restraints you know I would just say that this is like the way that most people get into the bondage media them and it's just frustrating someone and a particular way and I may be a more low-key way in order to can be so again the image up on the left is a basic you know under the bed tying kit where you can tie up your message or your bottoms ankles and wrists and put them in more of an X shape and this usually has adjustable straps so you can adjust it to the person Lange Eye the ones that are showing their the red areas are a little bit wider I would recommend getting a more wider restraint for wrists and ankles because the the the straight on the wrists and ankles the more opportunity for cutting off circulation occurs and so it especially padded ones are they tend to be a little more expensive but they're better as far as safety and again you can also use ones that have velcro for EZ release on that can be helpful in a BDSM play I'm not just for safety but also for flow cuz there might be praying for you like you're tying them up and releasing them several different times in the same session so it's nice to be able to get that release the quicker you really want to watch out for circulation issues we'll talk about that in the next slide you know you need to look at the color of give me used to look at the color of skin and make sure it's not turning purple or like too much red and again padding helps with some of these restraints you want to check in with your bottom some fun ideas or edging Edge plays when you can Edge them to orgasm or close to orgasm suspense again we talked about that earlier where you can lead up to some videos on playing perhaps some suspense with impact play you can start low and slow and like you a little bit and then filled up again central place you can really have some fun with a bondage and you don't do different things with like feathers different items that feel have different names to the skin and then hog-tie is a position just up on the right I wanted to get into just really briefly but just one position and it's where it's it can be great for submissives and it's a little bit advance but it's where are typically you're on your side or on your stomach and your hands are connected to your wrists are connected to your ankles behind your back and it's a great way to immobilize a submissive and make them feel helpless and often times that helps in humiliation play if there is a consent to that and get some basic safety tips you really want to watch out for strain on the wrists and ankles talk to a position you want to make sure if someone's on their diaphragm it can make it very difficult for them to breathe do you want to make sure you're checking in and making sure your bottom is breathing you know that with the wrists and ankles thing if if there is some tingling that's happening you need to pull back and make sure that you release that restraint immediately because it you can start to get some loss of sensation in your especially in your thumbs if you're responding an ankle so you just really really have to pay attention that you have to constantly check in with your submissive and you or your bottom you cannot rely exclusively on the bottom to tell you what's going on you have to pay attention at the top or the dominant to what's happening with a person's body again safeword green yellow red or helpful in bondage because bondage can kind of reject crunch Crescendo and as a person struggles sometimes it can pull the bondage even tighter so you have to you have to get a sense of where they're approaching their boundaries you need to stop musically hand signals again are important here or a gesture if if the person to mobilize they can't even do a gesture or a signal so they need to either make some sort of grunt some sort of quick as a signal that tells you it's time to release and that needs to be as decided to ahead of the session be very very clear about that you need to check in with bottom make sure they're breathing after Kerrigan has similar you know you wanted to negotiate what kind of how much is allowed prior to the session you need to negotiate what kind of marks you're willing to endure and the toppings be very cognizant of that and if there's marks some topical ice and maybe massage get some circulation going and do some research touch like your Aftercare big big safety tip are you never ever leave a bottom alone restrained ever you know a lot of people like to use of suspense play that is just asking for trouble if you are going to attempt any kind of that doing a faux leaving the bottom alone where you're you are still there but they just don't know you're still there I think they might be left alone but you're still fully in control fully able to release them child abusing handcuffs or anything you need it that you need to have the key right near where you're handcuffing the person you never let that key out of sight there also the bondage types like handcuff types that you can use a code instead of a key and that's a better way to go about it and then prepare prepare prepare bondage you have to be prepared ahead of time for any contingency you have to be able to unrestrained a person at a moment's notice stop what is the basics to bondage.

This is for the truly kinky

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