BDSM Consent

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January 8, 2020
Saying No: BDSM Boundary Setting

Why true subs hate Anastasia Steele First, don’t be offended by the strong language.  “Hate” means more or less “annoyed” at the idea of Anastasia Steele. Why does she annoy us? Because she gives true subs (“submissives”) or “alpha subs” (strong alpha women in life, submissives in the bedroom) a bad name. Why? Because she […]

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January 7, 2020
Introduction to Consent

But the power play gets skewed when an experienced Dom uses emotional manipulation in the relationship in order to get what he wants instead of negotiating up front and sticking to the contract.  We never hear him instruct her on safe words and she never uses them. Which leaves us with the impression that he […]

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December 20, 2019
Factors Impacting Consent

Coy, flirty banter is fun, but if it gets in the way of setting secure boundaries, it can be a liability. BDSM play should be negotiated at arms length in a matter of fact way and the assertion of boundaries by a sub is not “cute,” sexy, or used as a bargaining chip.  There is […]

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December 20, 2019
Safe Words and Signals

Ana would have the choice to tell Christian which things she did or didn’t like during each session.  And Christian would ramp up a notch or two, slowly grooming her, making sure she is fully informed and has her full consent. And he would educate her on how to use safe words. The biggest difference […]

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December 20, 2019
Creating a Successful D/S Relationship

Then, at the end of the first movie (SPOILER ALERT), Ana specifically tells Christian to do the type of impact play he wants to do (apparently in his “sadist” mode), not knowing what that entailed exactly. After he whips her really hard, she denounces him and leaves abruptly. This scene alone is so problematic and […]

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