07. How to Submit to Your Partner

Ana doesn’t do herself any favors either, asking for impact play and then essentially punishing Christian for it afterwards as if she didn’t ask for it.
 Emily Anne
Updated: January 7, 2020

How to Submit to Your Partner

Okay so in this video we're going to talk about how to submit to your partner the first of all this talk about what a submissive is what is a sub submissive is essentially someone who submits to the dominant so that means the dominant leaves the scene and the submissive follows a 24/7 relationship in essence that is the dynamic throughout the day and every day so for example in in a play scenario I believe the session and then the Dom Subdynamic can either continue or can end there and then go back to being the regular dynamic or if it's a 24/7 situation Usually the dynamic is continuous after the scene so it's not just in the bedroom you know when they trust the dominant they just follow the dominants commands or if their bratty they can they can resist and then end up submitting but the difference between a sub and a slave is kind of subtle so generally speaking and submissive can and come and Compass a slave as well generally speaking of submissive as someone who the difference between them is a slave goes a little bit further than a submissive and not a slave could we be at the beck and call of the dominant submissive and times when someone consider this considers themselves as slaves they don't have sort of a permission to say no but I would recommend that both sub and slave always have safe word and Lake have a you know that allows them to at some point so I put the right phone so and we talked about submission what the definition is I like to think of submission like letting go of the oars when you're floating down the river so Kate so core principles of like how to submit your partner first thing is you have to you have to be willing so it has to be you got to buy into it I can't just be someone else's idea and you begrudgingly go along with it submitting means that you you willingly are handing over control to someone else so you have to know how to follow I'm eating someone's going to lead and you were going to have to follow your going to have to learn how to trust and listen to commands and pay attention to what's going on in your body and how you're reacting you again where you know the dominant is the leader in so someone's always leading and the submissive is following accordingly so the next Corporal I want to talk about again is the idea of masculine feminine energy yin and yang so the yin is the feminine energy is the in the yang is the masculine energy and what is what can be so yummy about submitting is that when you feel that polarity between the masculine and feminine it can allow you a lot of freedom and there's a big release that can happen and both parties it's a mutually beneficial scenario generally speaking if someone's a true dominant and they should get a joy out of being a dominant having that control and having that responsibility cuz being dominant includes the responsibilities for the submissive and the submissive should intern enjoy you know Let it go to Oregon floating down the river and you know please in the dominant and you know we can talk about Subspace in a minute but then again there is a difference you can be a submissive either 24/7 or in just in the bedroom now I want to talk about the difference between control and power There's a misperception in people viewing BDSM that in fact the dominant is the one with all the power and that is not the case The submissive actually has all the power because whatever whatever control whatever power the dominant has it's derived from the permission of the submissive So in essence the submissive is the one with all the power someone who has been standing in their power and taking something that they want and so the submissive doesn't have as many responsibilities in the scene and a BDSM scene about the main one that the submissive has is setting boundaries so again this is negotiating a head of time negotiating safe word save signals and then within the scene if it's a hard limits being pushed upon or something isn't feeling right you have to be able to communicate those boundaries within the scene and within the relationship and usually that's negotiated ahead of time between you and your dominant how those are going to be communicated again this is an area where you can't assume what your partner's thinking you have to speak up and you have to listen to your partner and you know some submissive think that being submissive is just doing everything the Dom says at all times as if you don't have a brain of your own and that is not the case you always want to be checking in with your self you always want to make sure that you are I'm doing you know ultimately what you want to do because it's what the dominant is asking you to do and that's the definition of submissiveness sometimes you're going to be asked to do things that you might not might not seem that grader that fun at first and also you could be experiencing discipline and discipline can actually be fun and I can also be scary and some subs like to be scared and go through the thrill of potentially getting punished but make it your boundaries you have to be able to communicate your wants and needs and I would suggest using a sexual exploitation question are we have on the site and go through the different activities on that questionnaire and see where you match up and what you might be curious in and then the BDSM test online or something I think it's BDSM test org that you can go through and I can tell you what type of submissive you might be and it's I mean you don't need to label yourself but it can be helpful to kind of get a sense okay well I'm this is the kind of sub I am these are the kind of activities I want to do you know I really prefer being more like a slave I want complete to get over complete control and you have to determine like if you're into impact play there's a whole host of activities and we went over that in another video that you can do inside a scene so these are all choices that you can make communicate to your partner okay so I want to talk about Subspace and subdrop so space is essentially this yummy lovely feeling emotional feeling you can get in your head space when you're submitting that is hard to describe but it's essentially it can almost feel like a high or you're floating and it's where all your senses are heightened and your end just like this really great Groove that takes you out of sort of your normal life or whatever subspaces something that's wonderful to get into but you have to realize that sometimes if none of it you could experience was called subdrop subdrop is what can happen after a scene or session it can happen to us as much as maybe a week later or right away where is submissive when they come down off that high and then come out of the scene and they're back to real life they can experience some depressive symptoms you can feel almost depressed have some blues and go through some emotional turmoil so it's important again we'll talk about we talk about after care in another video but you need to communicate what things you need during this time this is not the time to you know let the dominant take the lead and after care they should be asking and questioning you to check in with your feelings and how you're doing but you really need to communicate hey this is I actually need more cuddling or I need more reassurance or you know maybe I'd like to stay the night if spend some more time or whatever you feel like you might need and The Dominoes should be with you every step of the way of that of course just you make sure to use your safe word and you're safe signals when you need to sometimes subs don't want to do that but don't let it go too far to where you get her that's not I mean again this needs to be safe sane and consensual and you need to make sure you're watching out for yourself 

This is for the truly kinky

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